DON’T YOU GET ME PREGNANT:

© 2000 by Lydia Glider Shelley
Verse 1:
Don’t you get me pregnant cuz I already been
had those doggone hemorrhoids
don’t want them again!
I don’t need no baby to feed way late at night...
so I hope you brought protection
if you want to stay tonight!

Chorus 1:
I’ve had half a dozen kids
and they are all just great
but I don’t need no heartburn
keepin’ me up late!

Verse 2:
If you want a baby go buy a puppy dog
or a cat or maybe a snake or a frog
pets are fine with me cuz they can stay out back
in cages or on chains
and you can train ‘em to attack!

Chorus 2:
I’ve had half a dozen dogs
they shared a small space
but when you have that many kids
they’re all over the place!

Verse 3:
If you’d ever had a child
you would know ‘tis true
changes to your hormones wild
and your body too
you will never be the same as you were before
once you are a parent you’ve entered a new door

Chorus 3:
Pain and pleasure ever mixed
with joy and awe each day
once you hold them in your heart
they never go away

(repeat verse 1)